Mr. C is Mexican and I am very white. This makes for an interesting combination. Why did I choose Mr. C? Some may say it is because of his dashing good looks…
But really it is because he smells of Mexican food and I always want to eat his face. I do love me some Mexican food.
Do you want to know how to land your very own Mr. C?
Step 1: Go to your local Carniceria. If you are in Los Angeles, Taqueria Sanchez is a mighty fine choice.
Step 2: Go straight for the beef tongue.
Realize you are not that hard core and nicely ask for the carne asada. Please don’t attempt to speak Spanish to them because when they see your white skin they will reply in English. I don’t even attempt Spanish because most likely I would end up with the beef tongue.
Step 3: Watch the pros season the carne asada.
At this point I watch very closely and ask a lot of questions because I always think one day I will attempt to make some from home. After 6 years I still haven’t.
Step 4: Go down the street to the local Mexican Grocery Store. Everyone knows how I like a deal, so Top Valu has a very special place in my heart.
Please do not attempt to go to a regular grocery store you will not find what you need and you will lose your Mr. C.
Step 5: The panaderia (bakery) is usually right in front. Be sure to stop here first and let your Mr. C choose however many pastries he wants.
Don’t forget to get some for yourself. Go ahead and let him snack on them while you are picking up the rest of your items.
Step 6: Only get fresh tortillas. If there is someone standing there making them and they are still warm in the packaging you know they are fresh. If you tell the tortilla guy he is going to be famous when you take his picture he will give you a half smile.
He really liked me. Can’t you tell.
Step 7: Let him buy Jumex, but don’t look at the ingredients. Just focus on 100% Nectar. Ignore the Sugar and High fructose corn syrup warnings on the side.
Step 8: Grab Guacamole, onions, cilantro and salsa. Be sure to take in the lovely scenery.
Step 9: Be extra sweet to the bag boys because they get all smiley when older women flirt with them. They may look like they are 12, but they have to be at least 16. Your Mr. C will love how kind you are.
Step 10: Immediately when you get in the car take out your pastries and devour them. Don’t worry about the mess you make with all the powder and flakey goodness. Mr. C will clean it up later.
Step 11: After arriving home let your Mr. C show off his amazing knife skills
while you fry up the meat.
Technically it is best made on the grill, but ours has been banned. Our HOA said it was because of insurance but I think it was because our food smelled too good.
Step 12: Put everything together and eat your tacos while watching TV. Be sure to leave all dishes for him to clean because he will really love to wash them for you.
Follow the above for your very own Mr. C, but if it doesn’t work out at least you have some pretty good tacos and some giddy bag boys to fall back on.